Whilst on the semi-sexist front...

Helen had had enough of Gary's obsession.

"Football, football, football!" she moaned, "that's all you ever talk about. It's your whole life. You never take me out. You never buy me presents. You're either at a match or watching one on the box. I bet you can't even remember when our wedding anniversary is."

"Yes, I can," her husband retorted, "it's the same date that Newcastle United beat Juventus in the Champions League."

Poor I know :)

May as well have an Anti Makum one - its nearing Derby Day after all

Q: How many Sunderland fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows